Clean Records
by 4diamonds
Summary: Harley & Ivy are released on parole and are forced to live 'normal' lives. Ongoing.
1. Domestic Thievery

**Chapter 1: **_Domestic Thievery_

Usually, Harley and Ivy would spend their typical weekend doing something any regular couple would do; gardening, watching a movie together cuddled on the couch or spending the night out on the town, but this wasn't their_ typical _weekend. In fact, the two had been busy gathering resources from Ivy's greenhouse in Robinson Park.

It took a lot of convincing the parole board and officers to let them live at Ivy's old hideout, but only under three fair conditions; they stay out of trouble, they get themselves secure, full-time work, and a bi-weekly visit from Batman. The Dark Knight himself wanted the pair to remain out of trouble too. They had been out of Arkham for almost five months and their income was surprisingly higher than they expected. But unsurprisingly less fun to accumulate...

Harley recently started work at a garage; one of the most popular in Gotham. With her bill of health now clean and her extensive knowledge of most vehicles, she landed the job quite easily. Beyond her mask (and face paint), Harley was a pretty sweet, lively and bouncy girl, her colleagues quickly learned. All of those years being the Joker's henchwench had given her more experience with cars than she expected. After all, when his vehicles got shot up and damaged during a mass homicide spree in Gotham, _she_ was the one to pick up all the pieces. She didn't really like to think about her wasted time with the Joker... But besides, her employer and workmates were impressed with her handiwork, that was all that mattered.

* * *

"I want to go over our plan one more time before tomorrow. If anything goes wrong, we'll be back in Arkham in seconds flat. No questions asked," Ivy said nonchalantly whilst cutting stray leaves off her rose bush and handing them to the blonde beside her.

Harley deposited the leaves into a small plastic bag. "You're gonna go to the museum and steal a plant so I need to keep Batsy at bay. What more is there to know?"

"There isn't. But if things go wrong we have an escape plan. Don't drop hints, don't imply anything, and if he asks about me, there's no need to lie."

And honestly, there wasn't. ''She's at the museum's new diamond exhibit'' wasn't a lie at all. Even if viewing the new diamond wasn't her intention. Ivy handed Harley a final leaf. "There. That should do it."

Harley held the small bag of greenery up to eye-level. "_Hah_! Your mommy has ulterior motives, how 'bout _that_ ya stupid bag o'leaves!"

A green hand snatched the bag away from Harley's face. "These _stupid _leaves are the reason I'm not going to get caught. The Middlemist's Red Camellia is one of the rarest flowers in the world and I read that it was transferred here a few months ago because its popularity had decreased. Nobody in Gotham appreciates a good Camellia more than I do; those halfwits would mistake it for a rose before they even batted an eyelash," Ivy's voice a state of anger and determination.

"So you're going to replace it with a rose?" Harley asked, her tone sounding more like a statement than a question.

Ivy walked over to her desk and placed down the bag, sitting in the out-of-place dining chair and inspecting the leaves with a microscope. Her desk was a small glass table topped with lab equipment and chemicals left to brew in the faux-light of a lamp. She hated using lamps instead of sunlight, but at night there really wasn't much she could do. If she left the liquids in the dark for too long the chemical would turn an earthy brown and die. Who knew liquefied plants needed such persistent attention?

"A genetically modified rose. For this to work it needs to be the same colour and shape as the Camellia. The only thing different will be the DNA."

The blonde stood behind her girlfriend, tucked back her red hair and began to rub her freckled green shoulders. "Is this gonna take too long?"

"A few hours. Why?"

"I was gonna wait up but I have work tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to tell you that they moved my shift to four-on four-off. Pretty cool huh?"

Harley thought it was more than cool. It was fantastic! She got to sit at home for four entire days and do _nothing_ but watch TV and eat slightly dated cereal.

Ivy nodded, her lips pursed. Far too concentrated on diffusing cells from the leaves to answer... until the relaxing shoulder-rub had stopped and she heard a humming sound coming from behind her. She turned to see Harley bent over with closed eyes and puckered lips.

"Goodnight buttercup," Ivy whispered before pressing her lips to Harleys. "Don't forget to water the succulent."

The blonde padded her way out of the greenhouse, up the stairs and in to their bedroom, giving the room's succulent it's weekly watering and then hopping in to bed. It wasn't often that Harley slept alone for most of the night, but she did fully appreciate having the bed to herself. Moreso sleeping in Ivy's spot.

* * *

**Notes: **_I'm honestly surprised I even finished this chapter. My computer keeps making ugly whurrring noises every few minutes and it distracts me so much. I also started writing this at 3am.. at this point I think i'm nocturnal.. or insane._  
_Anyway this is my first piece of writing in over a year or so, I forgot how fun creative writing was!_

_The next chapter will be out within the next week if my motivation doesn't crash and burn. (This was supposed to be a ficlet but I thought it would be a nice starting point for a small fic I have planned.)_

_Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed! Feedback would be very appreciated!_

~4D


	2. Domestic Thievery pt 2

**Chapter 2**: Domestic Thievery pt. 2

"Harl, wake up buttercup."

The blonde shifted, making the duvet more askew around her body.

"Harley wake up," Ivy gently shook the sleeping girls shoulder with one hand, her other being used for leverage and balance. "You'll be late for work, come on."

Groaning and stretching, Harley opened her eyes and shielded the sun away from her face. She hated how Ivy would open the curtains at the crack of dawn. The plants on the windowsill certainly needed sunlight but Harley on the other hand, was a whole different story.

Harley hauled her head up and peered at the clock. "I'm up I'm up, I'm... Just... gimme five more minutes," She pulled he duvet up to her neck and let her head hit the pillow again.

"Harleen."

Harley buried her face in the duvet. Testing Ivy's patience was always fun. Or was it? Harley could never remember.

Growing more and more impatient, Ivy got up and stood at the foot of their double bed, swiftly ripping the blanket away and dropping it to the floor. Harley didn't even flinch.

"I give up. If you're not in the shower by the time I get back I'm going to drag you in there," Ivy threatened playfully as she exited their bedroom and made her way to the kitchen.

Make breakfast for herself and Harley, see her off to work and get down to business. That was her plan. She had to make sure Harley actually _got up _for work first...

* * *

After placing two bowls of cereal - Lucky Charms and Bran Flakes - a glass of apple juice and a glass of water down at the table, Ivy began her ascent up the stairs to fetch her girlfriend. She could hear scrambling around their room. It was obvious that Harley had heard her coming up the stairs and needed to get up before facing Ivy's wrath. Getting tickled at seven in the morning really wasn't ideal.

Finally dry from her shower, Harley donned a white tee-shirt and a pair of short denim dungarees, one of the straps hanging loose and a nametag pinned to her breast pocket. Ivy tied Harley's hair back in their trademark twin-tails and they headed to the kitchen together for breakfast.

"Aren't you supposed to wear the blue jumpsuit they gave you?" Ivy asked, regarding Harley's unusual outfit for work. She raised an eyebrow.

After she asked, it hit her how much Harley disliked 'rules.' She'd remember seeing Harley working in the Asylum during her brief career as one of their therapists. White shirt, buttons opened a little too low, red and black checkerboard skirt and black heels. She knew the reason they let her wear that outfit... 'Miss Quinzel, you dropped your key card.' The more she thought about the way the guards would watch, would peer down her shirt or proudly lick their lips at her behind, the more it angered her. Those pigs. Sadly, she couldn't do much behind a plexiglass wall to stop them.

"It ripped, remember? They told me to wear something I wouldn't mind getting dirty until they can get me a new one." Harley chewed on spoonful after spoonful of Lucky Charms between taking large gulps of her apple juice until it was gone.

The redhead chuckled. The reason it had ripped was because Harley had been bouncing around the greenhouse and the giant Dionaea Muscipula had snapped at her, almost tearing the jumpsuit from her body. Harley never goes to that side of the greenhouse anymore to Ivy's _and_ the Flytrap's satisfaction.

"Right, come on you," Ivy beckoned as she neared the front door. "I'll drive you."

"Aren't you gonna eat breakfast first?" Harley looked at Ivy's full bowl of cereal and half-empty glass of water.

"I want to drive you to work; I'll eat when I get back."

Truth is, Ivy wanted to see the guys Harley worked with. From the time Harley had been working there, she'd never gone to visit, now seemed like the right opportunity. The blonde rocked that outfit, filled it out in all the right places. She wanted to make them jealous. They could stare at Harley all they wanted but they had to live on knowing that their smoking hot colleague was spoken for. By an equally gorgeous green-skinned redhead. It was worth getting her car checked out too. If things went wrong, she couldn't risk a flat tyre during a getaway.

Harley slipped on her work boots and flew out the front door then vaulted over the door of Ivy's pink convertible. How she was so full of energy when an hour ago she refused to get out of bed was beyond Ivy's comprehension. Was it the sugar infused breakfast? Probably. They pulled out of the driveway and made their way into town with the morning radio on a low volume. Harley still sung her heart out, not that Ivy minded.

* * *

When the air turned thick and heavy, that was how you knew you were in Gotham's borders. They pulled up outside one of the better looking buildings, a three story brick building with a large metal door on the front.

"Thanks Red, I finish at seven, see ya then okay?" Harley spoke all at once and kissed Ivy on the lips, raring to get to work.

"Wait," Ivy took a hold of the blonde's hand and pulled into the Garage. "I want to get my car checked out before tonight. If things go wrong, I want to get here and pick you up as soon as possible _without_ a flat tyre."

With a nod, Harley allowed Ivy to pull up and they both exited the car, employees greeting the blonde as she checked herself in at the desk.

"First customer of the day!" Harley said excitedly, pointing at the bright pink car in the Garage.

"That's a... sight for sore eyes, I would'a thought _Poison Ivy_ would have more taste"

Some of her colleagues laughed out loud as they stared at the vehicle.

"Where'd she pick up _that_ hunk-a-junk? Holee shit!"

"Shhh, she'll hear you!" They continued to snicker and poke fun.

Harley kept quiet. She couldn't afford to have a temper at work; this job was her only way to stay out of trouble _and_ out of the Asylum.

"If you're done actin' like a bunch of kids, she needs a check-up on her car. Make sure everything's working right. Especially the tyres," the blonde interjected. She pointed at the two men who were gawking at her outfit and gestured for them to do their jobs. Harley went inside to add Ivy's car to the online planner and finish up some paperwork before her shift officially started.

* * *

"So're you reformed now too or somethin'? S'at why our Harl recommended this place? Garage for reformed criminals could be our new sellin' point!"

Ivy resisted the urge to punch the short, greasy black haired man in his smug face. Instead, she smiled and pointed to her car.

"I just wanted to get my car checked out. I would appreciate if you did your job without the chitchat, _Mikey_," she squinted at his nametag and bared teeth when saying his name.

"OH, right! Sorry Miss Ivy. S'okay if I call you that?" The greasy man blushed at his incompetence.

"Pamela." She replied softly and tapped her fingers on the car door. "My car?"

He began to inspect her car, pressing down on the tyres with his gloved hands. His co-worker working on the opposite side of the car. Ivy sat on the bench beside her vehicle, looking around the roof and walls of the garage. It all seemed more interesting than the two men before her until one of them snapped her attention.

"She needs new wheels, 'bout one-eighty per tyre but we can cut yer a deal, Miss Pamela. Say thirty percent? Five hundred dollars sound good?"

"Sure."

* * *

An hour and fifteen minutes later, all four new tyres were fitted and looked far better than her old ones when compared. She didn't realize how much wear and tare she'd put this car through until the body seemed much more wrecked when compared to new untouched tyres.

"Done and done, Miss Pamela. Whaddya think?" Mikey asked as he brushed strands of greasy hair from his even greasier forehead.

"She looks better than I expected. Maybe I won't have to use my pheromones on you guys after all"

Mikey and his colleague just stared at her, frozen. They were already nervous around this famous ex-rogue, but they didn't expect her to say that at all.

"I'm _kidding_. You know, with Harley around I would of thought you guys might have developed a sense of humour by now." Ivy rolled her eyes.

Mikey let out a nervous chuckle, his colleague stayed silent but smiled. Ivy didn't really care that they were nervous, it happened with most people she met, not exactly an uncommon thing. It felt empowering to still be intimidating even when she wasn't running rampant and destroying everything with 50-foot plants. All three were interrupted by a familiar high pitched voice.

"Everything okay with the convertible?" Harley asked, pointing at the cars new wheels. "I bet those are gonna cost ya'."

"Five hundred," Ivy informed her girlfriend. "But I bet our lovely boys here could... take it down a little further?"

Harley could see Ivy's pupils dilating. _Pheromones_.

"Red!" Harley slapped Ivy's arm gently, but enough to stop her from sabotaging Harley's first official job in years. "She's just kidding, aren't you Pammy."

Her pupils shrank and revealed a bright green once again. She sighed. Luckily the employees hadn't noticed her intentions.

"Can I pay by card?"

The transaction went through. She was five-hundred bucks down, but at least she saved about two-hundred from the discount. Not that it truly mattered.

Ivy made sure that Harley's colleagues were looking before she initiated goodbyes with her girlfriend. Once they knew Harley was hers, they wouldn't dare to bat an eyelash in Harley's direction risk mistaking it for a wink.

"I'm going home buttercup, I'll pick you up at seven okay?" Ivy hugged Harley over the counter and pulled her in for a kiss.

"See ya' later alligator, love ya'!"

"Love you too, Harl." Ivy winked. "Call me if tall dark and depressing shows up."

Ivy left. They watched her car leave the garage before saying a word.

"You never told us Ivy was yer squeeze? I thought you were Joker's girl, what happened? You a girl's girl now?" Mikey asked, obviously the questions on everyone else's mind, only he had the balls to ask.

"It's nunya business, Mikey! I'm here to work and get paid, not tell the world about my life. I'm _reformed_. I don't do things for attention and notoriety anymore." The blonde retorted and slammed the drawer shut on the cash register. "But yes, Red's my girlfriend," she blushed.

Just because Harley didn't do things for attention anymore, doesn't mean Ivy didn't. Two cars pulled in the Garage shortly after the pink convertible left the vicinity. It was like they were _waiting_ for Ivy to leave. Smart move.

* * *

Ivy had been home an hour, she finally ate her breakfast and had already began to get to work on tonight's plan. Adding the final touches to the rose leaves she and Harley harvested the day before, she practiced making her first replica of the Middlemist's Red Camellia. Her pupils dilated as she worked to get the green leaves to combine and transform into a deep red rose. She admired her work before continuing.

"Come on baby, grow for mommy..." she whispered to the flower. The petals began to multiply and shift around the flower. It was perfect. Now all she had to do was wait. The Wittelsbach Diamond exhibit opened at six o'clock, right now it was nearing eleven-thirty meaning Ivy had plenty of time to go shopping and buy a new dress for the event. Maybe even buy a present for Harley.

The Red Camellia had decreased popularity and the botany exhibit in the museum was hardly occupied. Stealing a flower was the least of the police's concern but this was _Poison Ivy_ after all. One wrong-doing and it's straight back to Arkham for her.

* * *

Another two hours passed, Ivy's cell phone vibrated in her hand, Harley's name on the caller ID.

"What's up buttercup? Did Batman come to see you?"

"Yep, you should'a seen the look on the guys' faces Red! Priceless!"

Ivy smiled. "So what happened?"

"Nothing. He just asked me why you were here this morning so I told him your tyres were about to go kaput. It's just weird seeing birdbrain in the daylight, have you ever noticed that guy's stubble before? I haven't and I've _kissed_ the guy! Maybe he didn't have time to shave this morning, go figger! What are you up to Pammy?"

"I'm in town looking for a new dress to wear for tonight, maybe some new shoes."

"_Couture!"_

"God no Harls, I'm not made of money," Ivy laughed as she scrolled through a rack of dark purple chiffon dresses on the reduced section. "Maybe if I didn't have to spend five-hundred bucks on new tyres..."

"Well I wasn't gonna let you gas him Red! That's my job on the line! Plus that five hundred is going into my pay-check so really it's just... _recycled_."

Ivy could practically hear Harley beaming down the phone at her own joke. _Recycled_... She supposed it did appeal to her _better nature_ after all.

"Its _pheromones_, not _gas_. Anyway, look I'm gonna have to go; I need to try on this dress. I'll call you before I leave for the museum," Ivy held the dress to her neck to test the length.

"Okey-dokie, Poison Oakie! Send me pictures of your dress!"

"I will. Bye-bye sweetie. Love you,"

"Love you too!"

* * *

Ivy admired the long chiffon dress in the dressing room mirror. The way it gathered at the bottom looked like a purple waterfall of silk and the top half had floral embroidery on the left breast. She snapped a few pictures and sent them to Harley before heading to the checkout and buying it along with a pair of even darker purple high-heels with little bows on the toe. The girl at the checkout offered a discount but Ivy refused. The girl was short, had bright blue eyes, blonde hair, and kinda reminded her of Harley. She felt a little bad for unintentionally intimidating her but the dress was already reduced. She had to at least _act_ reformed in a crowded place like a retail store. Shooting smiles and thank-yous to everyone made her feel more suspicious than reformed though.

Ivy grabbed some lunch and a present for Harley before she headed home. Only three hours until the exhibition opened.

* * *

Ivy showered, dried her thick red hair and began to apply a peachy foundation and mineral powder all over her face, shoulders, arms and legs. She couldn't be _Poison Ivy _at an event like this. Despite being on parole, any guards, cops and security would be keeping an extra eye on any green-skinned eco-terrorist that just _happened_ to turn up at one of the _world's rarest diamond exhibits_.

She could barely recognize herself in the mirror. Perfect. The now pink-skinned woman donned her dress and shoes, pinned back her hair and grabbed a matching handbag, double checking that her phone, extra useful plants, and genetically altered rose-leaves were definitely in there.

Before leaving the front door, Ivy waved goodbye to her plants, kissing a stray vine that descended from a hanging potted plant.

"Bye-bye babies, don't worry, mommy will be home soon. I promise."

Ivy hopped in her convertible and made her way to Gotham's museum.

Cars and limousines peppered the roads while women in fancy dresses and men in tuxedos were scattered across the pavement and steps of the museum along with plenty of paparazzi. It was hard for Ivy to believe that this many people wanted to see a shiny rock instead of a beautiful freshly bloomed Camellia. Gothamites are truly stupid. She parked her car in a vacant spot and texted Harley before making her way to the museum. She realized that she should probably find a date to take with her. Picking out a man in a tuxedo wasn't hard; they were everywhere and this guy looked like a nobody in particular. She gave him a dose of pheromones and he almost lifelessly followed by her side with no falter, hand in hand much to Ivy's distaste. Looking up at the Museum's clock, it read five-fifty. She just had to wait ten more minutes before the real fun began...

* * *

**Notes**: _I'm honestly starting to think I can only work on anything productive when it's 3am. My sleeping pattern is so mussed._  
_The little phonecall between Harley and Ivy was the best part of writing this chapter. I love it when they're domestic *w* Also if you laughed at my puns I love you, and if you didn't laugh, that's okay because I already laughed enough for about 40 people._

_I hope you all enjoyed! Feedback would be very appreciated!_

_~4D_


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